blur vision

Posted Thursday, January 6, 2011 by nobody_eka
sometimes i felt bored and lonely..
just now, we discuss about our wed..
but seems of course i cant get what i dream for..
he keep pestering me by saying dat its hard to discuss with me..
i hate to discuss with everyone..
and i dont know how can i involve in marketing course which involve with people
more i discover myself..more i know dat i do not know how to handle myself and people around me..

my sis both of them keep saying something that make me felt guilty and sometimes im sad..
even they didnt mean that but that have gone through th0e words..
i had nobody to discuss about my wed..
i dont felt to wed now..
she always said i dont want to be like you..
suppose u help family ..
then wed..but due u and ur bf had know for long time of course u have to married..
what that suppose to mean..
ya..bcoz u dont hve bf..
so iss dat ur style to condemn..
my dad gone now..which the only one i like to discuss about my wed..
even my sis cant help me to get through my time..
my hard time..
even my fiance cant understand me..
even i dont understand myself..

every of my vision and life..even future seems blur..
which i dont understand my life and it keep messy and i dont have any clear objective about my life,,
seems im none zero..
even i have degree..have family..have fiance..
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bapak...I miss you so much

Posted Sunday, December 26, 2010 by nobody_eka
Everything seem's unclear for me..
Everything seem's bored for me..
My mum keep think about him..
All we ever think and mambling about is only him..

Last 4 days ago..tuesday..
I'm still in office..and practice for audition...
But what i receive...about my dad..
"KAK, CEPAT DATANG HOSPITAL, BAPAK NAZAK"
"Boleh jangan main tak?cakap betul2"

She already call my sister in melaka about this matter and urgently call her to come home..
I just said wait and check to hospital due my sis are too worried usually..
I call my fiance..pick him up and urgently he drive to hospital speeding without concerns others..
But what dissapoint me "Kak..bapak dah takde"
I hate this..i hate when i remmember this memory..
I hate myself..

I miss him so much..
I miss to kiss his forehead..
I miss to hear his voice call us..
I miss to have his smell..
I miss his laugh..
Even my mum keep crying thinking about him..
Sunshine of our life..
How tired we are..
He always make us laugh..

Doakan ayah ku ditempatkan orang2 yang soleh
Kerna dia ayah terbaik pernah aku terima ..
Ayah terbaik pernah aku sayangi..
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